


After War

by Nemuikuro26



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Insecure Keith (Voltron), Jealous Lance (Voltron), Journey, M/M, Pining Keith (Voltron), Slow Burn, Temporarily Unrequited Love, after war, everyone goes back to earth, klance, klangst, shiro and allura soon to be married
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-06 20:17:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11608176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nemuikuro26/pseuds/Nemuikuro26
Summary: War is over and everyone will be back to earth. everyone are excited. except Keith. his parents were killed long time ago by Zarkon and he really didn't have a place at earth. another problem is, he has special feeling for Lance. knowing once they get back Lance might ended up with other person, make Keith feels more reluctant. so he make unexpected decision.





	1. I dont want to go back

**Author's Note:**

> as usual, unbeta-ed and my english suck

After War

Prolog

 

It’s already the seventh year and finally, the war is ended. They have successes defeat Galran and freeing the entire space. So what left? It’s definitely going back home.

They aren’t a childish teen anymore. They are fully fledge adult with a lot of battle scars and characters development. Doesn’t mean there is no bickering tho. They still tease one to each other but now, in different tone and different way of approach. Especially Lance and Keith.

They still bickering like usual, no tone down, but now they can laugh at each other faces and slap each other back. There is no murderous intent since there is none from the start. It’s only parts of miscommunication between them. And after they sort things out, they turn up into a dynamic duo. After all, hot and cool make a fine dispenser.

Now, after 7 years together, Keith has a new best friend, Pidge, who share a same antics about conspiracy theories and cryptic. Shiro will always be a brother to Keith, Hunk will always be a food court in the middle of the night out in the space and Allura and Coran as his nice advisors. Allura and Coran decided to stay at earth since Allura ended up in relationship with Shiro. They intend to do a human wedding ceremony.

Everyone is excited to get back to earth, except Keith.  Well, sure he is happy that everything is finish. No war, no life and death situation, and no need to kill anymore. They’re going back into their peaceful life. Such a bliss. The problem is, when everyone has something that they want to see again, Keith have none.

Its turn out his father was killed by Zarkon a long time ago when he tried to protect Keith, so as his mother since his mother was one of the blades of Marmora’s warrior. A special one to add.  That’s make him realize there’s none he need to wait to see. His only family is Voltron, and now that they are going back to earth, his family will separate themselves. Sure, he can disturb Shiro and Allura but he doesn’t want to disturb their new wedding life.

Another problem is, his feeling. Seven years fighting side by side with Lance make Keith realize his own feeling. Not a good one tho. He didn’t remember since when, but the moment where they almost lost Lance, he realize that he didn’t want to lose ‘em. It’s an unpleasant feeling. He was mad at Lance for three days. No talking, no bickering. Just silent. So in the end, when Lance asked him why he was so worked up by this, he lost his word. Not because he didn’t know but because he realize that he already fallen for Lance.

Maybe because Lance is different from him. Maybe because Lance has the attitude ‘I can get close with anyone’. Or maybe, because Lance complete him. They are what people call opposites. Like a magnet, they are different but they drawn to each other’s. because only then they can complete.

Even though everyone saw Lance as someone easy to approach and Keith as someone who hard to get close, actually, Lance’s emotion is far more complex than Keith. Like a deep sea, no one know how deep it is, how secretive Lance about his real feeling is. Different than Keith who always angry, maybe he will burnt you but you know what his feeling is. Angry. And that’s when they complete each other. When Lance drown in his deep thought, Keith will burn him so the feeling will evaporates. And when Keith is burning with fire, Lance will showering him with unexpected calmness.

Thus, make Keith understand that he **need** Lance to survives. But, is it the same with Lance? Keith isn’t a person who like to thinks too much like Lance.  He likes to take action more than overthinking. Thinking a plan or something always be a ‘Lance’s job’. He is the brain and Keith is the brawn.

 

“It’s really not like you… overthinking about something.” He mumbled to himself.

Keith tightening his blanket around his body. Soon, they will arrive. He even can see his own sun in his galaxy. The biggest star in their galaxy.

Since the war is over, everyone enjoying the luxury of sleeping more longer than they usually did. Now, they won’t wake up in the middle of dream just because Galra suddenly appears around their ship. Keith will be lying if he didn’t feel relieve, but still, he will miss the times they run frantically to the control room with everyone still in their pajamas. Sometimes when they were in the middle of eating. Thus, make Hunk brought his bowl while fighting with a scowl.

Now that war is over, who will watch the entire galaxies? Is there no need to? Somehow, Keith didn’t want to go back to earth. He doesn’t have a place called home there. Should he go back to the Blade of Marmora base?

If he goes back to earth, sooner or later, everyone will find their own mates, like Shiro and Allura. And Keith wanted to be there, except when it’s Lance’s turn. The sudden thought of Lance having someone else make Keith want to vomit. Something clutching his tummy and squeezing his lungs. He hate it. But it’s the fact. Because no matter what, it still strange for two boys to stay together.

“Want me to make you something?” a sudden voice make Keith turn his head abruptly, found Hunk standing behind him while holding a bowl of space goo in pajamas with sleepy face.

“Pfft, I thought you hate that.” Said Keith, implying how angry Hunk was when they eat it the first time.

“Well, we won’t eat it anymore once we arrived. Finally, we can eat earthen food!” claimed Hunk with face full of happiness.

But his happy face only stay for a while when he saw a glimpse of sadness in Keith’s eyes. He sighing a little while smiling softly at Keith then decided to sit beside Keith spot. Keith didn’t mind though. On the contrary, he’s enjoying having a companion. For a while, there’s only silent. Both staring in to the unlimited sky. Hunk was the one who broke the silent.

 “What’s wrong Keith?”

Hunk can see clearly how Keith thinking about what he want to say. His mouth keeps open then closed repeatly. After a moment, the fell into a silent again but Hunk didn’t rushing him. They are on their way back home, no need to chase anything now.

“I… didn’t think I want to go back…” he said finally. Now, he changes his direction straight to Hunk face. “Hunk, have you ever missing Shay?”

Hunk’s eyes getting wide and his bowl almost fall from his hand. Now all the bloods rising up to his face. “Wha—what are you saying Keith?! It’s not like that about me and Shay! We just—I just—oh my god… I don’t know what I want to say…” he admitted finally after stuttering around.

“I’m sorry Hunk. I don’t mean to pokes your personal problems… it just… after this we won’t see them again.” Keith folding his knees and rest his chin at them. “We won’t meet any aliens again. We will go back into our normal live and I just… I don’t know. Not ready maybe?” after saying that, Keith turn his face to the other side, rest his cheek to his sleeves.

After a moment of silent, Hunk pats Keith back. “I know what you mean. After years of adrenalin, it’s sure strange to go back into peaceful life. But in the end, we still should go back to our home. Don’t you miss earth?”

“No.” Keith answers almost immediately. “I don’t have a place called home, Hunk. And I can’t miss something that I never have, right?” now his focus back to Hunk and offer Hunk a bitter smile, makes Hunk breathe a little hitches. “What should I do Hunk? The moment we arrived, I’ll lost the reason of why am I exist. What should I do now that I didn’t need to protect galaxies anymore? That I’m not a paladin anymore?”

Normally, people thought this kind of conversation would be normal if Keith share it with Shiro. But with Shiro who’s now filled with happiness and will got married, he didn’t think sharing this kind of conversation with him is the right thing to do.

Once again, Hunk pats Keith back. “That’s, my man, what’s gonna be your new journey. Your new reason. “

Keith wants to talk more. He wants to talk about his feeling about Lance. But, he already hid it for years. If he wanted to talk about it, then, the right person to talk with is Lance himself.

Maybe Hunk’s right. This will be his new journey. Once they arrived, he will talk to Lance. And if he got a rejection, he doesn’t need to stay. He will leave. After all, he had no place called home. He will back occasionally to visit them but not too long. Yeah. Let’s do that. Let’s just do that for now. And for next, he will think about it later. After all, there’s no use to think about future now. Not when they aren’t even arrived at earth.

 

Hunk already long gone. Back to his own room, leaving Keith alone in the observatory room. Even though he already stop over thinking about everything, he still didn’t want to go back to his room. He want to see the moment he see the earth. He didn’t want to missed it at all.

A soft touch of mug distracting Keith’s mellow feeling. When he looked up, he found out the one who brought two mugs in his hand is Lance. He is smiling softly at Keith now. Oh, how hurt Keith’s chest now, the moment that smile was throw at him.

“You haven’t come back to your room so I was looking for you. I met Hunk in the middle hall and he told me you are star gazing in here now. What’s wrong samurai?” he asked while all together filling the spot next to Keith. They sit side by side and now sharing blanket – much to Keith protest but Lance ignored it—while star gazing together. Lance offering the other mug which filled with hot drink to Keith and Keith accepting it.

“Don’t get mad at Hunk.” Lance continue. “He already told me that you seems want to be alone. But I know you. In this kind of moment, leaving you alone is not a right option. You are not a thinker, you might do a rash decision. So, I decide to disturb your star gazing.” He explain.

Keith replied it with a chuckle. Like this. Lance really know what Keith’s will do. They complete each other so of course Lance will understand. Too bad, he didn’t realize that Keith already pass a friendship boundary long time ago. That’s the only thing Lance didn’t know about Keith.

“Don’t worry. Once we get back, you can go to my house with me.” He said suddenly.

Lance already know about Keith insecurity being an orphan. Just like Keith know his. But, even though he is offering it out of kindness, Keith couldn’t help but think its hurt. His offering as a friend only hurt Keith’s feeling because he couldn’t help to hope. Hoping Lance will return his feeling. Hoping it’s not an unrequited love.

“Lance, there’s something I want to tell you once we arrived.” He decided.

 

~To be Continue~


	2. Another Chapter of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I hope... sometimes I hope I never met you so I won’t know how hurt it is to fall in love.”
> 
> The team finally arrived and Keith decided to confess

_“I hope... sometimes I hope I never met you so I won’t know how hurt it is to fall in love.”_

* * *

 

“Lance, there’s something I want to tell you once we arrived.” He decided.

Lance eyeing Keith with curious eyes but Keith already made a decision. He resolved to confess his feeling once they arrived at earth. As if amending the words that he had said before, a brief of light shooting through their body. The sun’s light. Their own biggest star is shining upon them.

A sigh of relieve coming out from Lance’s mouth. Keith can see how relieve, how happy Lance is when he saw it. And they even can saw earth and moon from the ship. They are close. They really, really close to earth.

Keith clutches his shirt. Only a few vargas and they will arrived. His heart start beating faster and faster as he realize the moment come closer and closer as the time past by. His heart is not ready and he never will, but he need to so he can put an end to this shit. To this stupid feeling he had for a while.

“We are getting closer. Are you sure you don’t want to talk to me now?” Lance asking.

Keith only shakes his head a little. “No.”

“Awww… are you trying to be romantic? Waiting for timing like it’s important?” Lance teasing success making Keith’s mood lift up a bit. He bumps his shoulder with Keith and Keith bumps him back, for a while they are bumping at each other but with smile pestering their face.

“Shut up. I don’t want to rush. When the time’s come, it’s come.” 

* * *

 

“EEAAARRRTTHHH! My mother nature! I’m back!”

Lance is the first one who runs out of the castle. They landed at a dessert, close to Keith’s shack because there is no one will saw them or their flying castle landed on earth. Hunk and Pidge second as Matt and Shiro following them with Allura in the middle. Coran a little hesitate but he came after them. Keith is the last one because he is not sure if he really want go back to earth.

Hunk look around before shouting, “Oh my God! I can’t wait to eat earthen food again! Pizza! Taco!”

“Yea, yeah. There’s only food inside your brain.” Pidge commenting before looking at Matt. “We should contact mom.” Matt nodding acknowledge Pidge statement.

“What about the lions?”

Everyone turn their head toward Keith. Keith understand that he had break a reminiscent moment but he can’t help but thinking about their lion. There’s no way he will leave his lion alone.

Lance is the one who approach Keith first, putting his hands to grabs Keith shoulders and headlock him. “Easy there buddy. We won’t leave them alone, but for now, let’s enjoy our home coming. And maybe enjoy some wedding,” he said as wiggling his eyebrow toward Shiro and Allura.

Shiro is coughing to cover his blush. “Lance right. We need to take it easy first. We already agree that we won’t reveal anything to earth people so we need a plan, but first let’s loosen up a little. Okay?”

Keith only nodding. As he and Lance walk, much to Lance dragging him in headlock, he can see Hunk look at him with understanding smile. He smile back, hoping that will put reassurance to Hunk. Hunk probably worried since their talk last time and he didn’t have a heart to make Hunk worried about him more than this. He really hate it when he makes someone worried over him.

In the end, Matt and Pidge decided to go home first, Shiro intend to bring Allura and Coran to meet his family, Hunk was going back to his family too, and the same goes with Lance. But Lance insists to take Keith home with him.

When they were busy packing their stuffs, Keith knock at Lance’s room, knowing well that Lance still busy with his own stuffs. He had a lot of stuff that he collect so he can show them up at his family. There’s no answer but Keith let himself in, he often came in without permission after all.

“Hey, done with packing?” Lance asking but didn’t change his focus. His eyes still focus on his stuff.

With fidgeting feeling, Keith sit in Lance’s bed. “Yeah…”

For a while, Keith didn’t utter a single word. He just simply sits and tries to craved Lance figure, engrave it deep inside his heart. He tried to memorizing every part, every curves of Lance. Burn it with his violet eyes for this might be their last time seeing each other.

“Lance,” he tried to collect himself and be brave.  _This is it. The final. This time, everything will be finish._  “I—like you…”

For a while there’s no sound.

Slowly, Lance turn his back toward Keith. His eyes are wide and his face make a disbelief expression. “UH… what?”

Keith clears his throat, somehow he feels so thirsty and his throat is dry. “I… Like… you.” His voice came out a little hoarse.

“I… like you too, I guess? We are buddies?” he sound so uncertain at this level.

Keith shakes his head a little hard. “No. I mean I like you in… other form. Not like friend but…” he didn’t finish his sentence.

Lance immediately understand what Keith means. He didn’t make any sound but his action clearly said how confused he is. He grabs his head and scratch it then his hand flapping around to the point he start to scratch his neck even though it's not itchy at all.

“I—I … I’m sorry…” finally, Lance found his voice. “I never thought you have feelings for me, but… I…”

Keith realize how uncomfortable Lance are. He tried to change the topic and run his plan B. “No, no! it’s okay! I don’t need you to make yourself feeling guilty. I just want to say it because… I’ll go travelling by myself.”

Lance shot him a question glance.

“Well, you know, I really never have a place called home and I don’t think I can blend with many people so I think, I want to travel around the world… by myself.” Keith can see Lance tried to arguing him so he talk again. “And this not because I hate the idea of staying in a long term in one place… I just…. Like when we travel across the galaxies, I feel more alive than when I stay on earth. It’s just my nature Lance. I need to keep moving.”

Again, a heavy atmosphere swirling around them. An awkward silence that long forgotten came again. Keith tried to ignore it. He clears his throat and makes a gesture to leave.

“So, that’s it. I just want to say good bye? I guess? Well, Goodbye Lance. I still need to find Shiro and others.”

As he make his step to leave, Lance grab his shoulder. He can see hesitate feeling in Lance eyes but he still tried to talk. “If… if you finish your journey, you can come to my house anytime.”

Something is stabbing his heart now. It has no solid shape and no one can see it. Only Keith who can feel it. Keith know that Lance only have a good intention but dammit! This soft voice, this nice invitation only make him more wrecked than he already has. The last thing you hope from rejection is, nice intention to still be friend. It’s not as easy as it seems. Easy for the one who’s not falling in love but harder for the one who is.

He tried his best to smile but only a bitter smile he can afford. He move forward, didn’t want to linger at Lance touch. Didn’t want to admit how hot it is the place that Lance has touch. And he didn’t want to let the tears falling down. He won’t admit it and won’t accept it.

As soon as he get out from Lance’s room, he grab his shoulder, the place where Lance’s hand linger. It’s hot, the warm still there and it’s hurt. His eyes start to blurry but he didn’t want to cry. He despise the state his in now, showing how big Lance’s effect at him.

After saying goodbye to other members, he was the one who get out first. Of course there was a lot of disagreement but he tried his best to convey them. In the end, everyone was giving up and let him do what he wants. He grab his bike, glad that it still can move even tho he need to charge it a while and leave where his heart lie. He needs to move forward and move far away from Lance so someday he can smile as a friend again.

* * *

 

Keith grips his handles. He didn’t know when but in the middle of the road, already half hour after he left the castle, he can feel his tears, cannot block it, and cannot hold it anymore, so he let it fall. Let them make a small stream at his cheeks as winds blow them too. It hurt. No matter what, a rejection is still a rejection and it’s hurt like hell.

“I hope... sometimes I hope I never met you so I won’t know how hurt it is to fall in love.”

Even though he told Lance that he  _like_  him, the truth is, he  **love**  him. It’s not a simple crush anymore. Lance is the only one who can control Keith impulse and Keith emotion. Lance is the only one who can assures Keith, more than Shiro, more than anyone. Sure, he is bonding with others. He loves Hunk for his cook. He loves Pidge for they sharing same interest in cryptic and conspiracies. He loves Shiro because he’s like an older brother for him. He loves Allura for she is like a sister. He loves Coran because he is funny and antics.

But, his love for Lance is different. It’s different kind of love where you hope you always wake up and seeing the smile of that person as the first thing you saw when you open your eyes. It’s a feeling where you hope one day you and that person can sit lazily in a love seat together without talking and doing anything but still happy and cozy. It’s that kind of love you longing for a person that you hope to spend the rest of your life together.

Keith shouting his frustrating feeling a loud. He keeps screaming until his voice turn hoarse and his throat dry. The tears refused to stop no matter how hard Keith tried to stop.  _It’s hurt. It’s hurt._  He stopped himself when he reaches a river. The dessert scenery has already changed into greenery and he found himself ride side by side with a river.

He park his bike next to a tree, throw his belonging and his jacket, open his boots, then dive himself in a river. Hoping it will at least, covering his tears. Even if Keith looks like a fire person, he actually found calamity inside waters. He can hold his breath for two minutes.

When he felt his bodies start to need to breath, he came out and inhale a lot of air before dive again. He repeat it until he start to feel calmer. After almost a half hour, he finally resurrects and make his way to the river bank. He sit next to his bike and let his left hand rest at his left knee which he fold close to his chest while the other fall next to him.

He look into a distant, not focus at all. But at least, His mind is finally clear, not muddy at all like before. This is not the end, this is a new start. He states to himself. Yeah, Lance’s rejection didn’t mean it the end of the word. It’s just another chapter that he finally finished. And from now, he will start a new chapter. At another place where there will be no Lance anymore. It is hard, and it still hurt, but he will be fine.

 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The diving to the river scene actually me when I got rejected


End file.
